Rain
by BluezebraAFHS
Summary: Just a little one shot of what went through my head after watching the episode where Choaji calls Allen a monster. Hopefully the story is better that it sounds right now. Rated T because I'm paranoid, even though it probably belongs in the K rating. R&R please.


**Okay, so as I was watching the episode where Choaji called Allen a monster, I wondered how Allen felt. This is just a random one shot to get the idea out of my head. It's been bugging me for a while. I don't own D. Gray-Man. If I did, it probably wouldn't have been so awesome, and it definitely wouldn't have been put on hiatus. Anyway, please enjoy.**

* * *

"_If you would help them... then your a monster. You're one of them. You're a demon!"  
The words echoed through his head over and over again. Monster... demon. Words he'd been called so many times. He should be used to it by now, but he wasn't. It still hurt that someone would think he wasn't a human.  
Memories began flooding his mind. All those times when he was called a monster or a freak, a demon. All those times he was beaten because he had gotten too close. He should be over it by now. But he wasn't. There had always been that small piece of him that believed those words. And now, it was almost as big as it had been before Mana._

Allen woke up with a start. He'd had another nightmare about their time on the ark. He was in the infirmary in the Black Order. Luckily, everyone had gotten home safe. Everyone was injured, and would spend the next few days where they were now. Excepts for Lenalee, she had been released earlier that day.  
Allen sighed, and put his head back down on his pillow. He didn't want to go to sleep, but then again, he did. Everything had become so complicated. His nightmare's seemed to be centered on when Choaji had called him a demon. Every time he thought about it, it just brought up painful memories. He tried to banish them, but they just kept coming. Soon he fell back into a, luckily, dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Allen woke up to find everyone else that had been in the room with him were gone. He was alone. He sighed, and sat back against the head board of his bed. What if everyone was right? What if... what if he was a monster? He knew he shouldn't believe that, but... after having been called it so many times, it was kind of hard not to at least a little bit.  
Allen shook his head, he needed answers. He decided to wait until someone came in. He'd ask them what they thought of him then.

* * *

Lenalee was finally able to walk without assistance, and she reveling in her happiness. She'd missed the feeling of being able to walk. She hadn't seen Allen for a while, so she decided to go visit him.  
When she walked into his room, she saw him sitting on his bed, staring at the ceiling. "A-Allen-kun? Are you okay?"  
he didn't even bother looking away from the ceiling. In a quiet voice, he asked "Lenalee, do... do you think I'm a monster?"  
Lenalee was shocked. She didn't know what she was expecting to hear, but it definitely wasn't that. "Allen, why would you even think you were a monster?"  
Allen finally looked at her, and she could see he was trying to hold back tears. "Ch-Choaji called me that while in the ark, and... I just couldn't help but wonder... so many people have called me that. I... I just..."  
Lenalee understood now. "Allen..."  
"It's just, in my past, I was called that a lot. You know, because of my arm. A... and I guess I just sort of started believing it. I thought I was a freak. Then, Mana taught me that I was a human. Even so, I still had... a small part of me still believed the words those people said. And then when Choaji said it..."  
A single tear slid down his cheek. Lenalee walked over to Allen and pulled him in a hug. "You're not a monster Allen. You are a human being who was chosen by God to be an exorcist. You're not a freak, and you're not a monster. You're my friend. I don't want to hear you say that ever again, okay Allen?"  
he nodded, and buried his head in her shoulder. Lenalee held him tighter. "Allen, I want you to let it all out. You've been holding a lot in, and it's not healthy. Please, just, let it go."  
Again, Allen nodded, and more tears started leaking out of his eyes. Soon, he was sobbing into her shoulder. Holding her tight, desperate for the comfort she offered. For a long time, Allen just cried. When he finally calmed down, he let go on Lenalee and sat back. "Thanks Lenalee." he said  
She smiled. "No problem."  
Choaji slipped out of the room unbeknownst to either of them. He felt so guilty now. He didn't know Allen had been called a monster so many times. Unbeknownst to all of them, Lavi had been in the room also. Later that day, Choaji was found in a random hall, bruised and bloody, where Lavi had left him after beating the crap out of him.

* * *

Lenalee stayed with Allen a little while longer. She was just about to leave when Allen reached out and grabbed her hand. She turned towards him, and waited for him to say something. "Lenalee, I just wanted to thank you for being there for me. You helped me a lot. Thank you."  
Lenalee smiled. "That's what friends are for Allen, there's no need to thank me."

Lenalee stayed with Allen for the rest of the night. You could just hear the rain pounding on the walls of the order. But there was no more rain falling inside.

* * *

**Anyways. Did you like it? Hate it? Please review. Also, tell me if I made any mistakes please. It'll help me with my writing.**


End file.
